New Safe Diet Food!

By Mikhaila

Hi all,

Big news, bad news. So for some reason, I’ve stopped being able to tolerate beef. It’s all I was eating and now I can’t stomach it, I guess the people who said I would sensitize to these foods were right. FORTUNATELY, I’ve found a solution. Insects. They’re basically meat and pretty crunchy. So far so good. I’ve only tried crickets but I’ve added links below to other insects. At least there’s more variety here, right? I highly doubt any insect would cause an IgG response, so they’re probably safe.

Black Ants – nothing added

Crickets – I’ve actually had to buy these from pet stores… For some reason, they don’t make crickets without adding a whole bunch of additives to them. The only ones I could find online were BBQ flavored, and many had added milk and sugar. How is that healthier?

The ones from pet stores are organic and have nothing added so they’re safe to consume. I used to feed them to my bearded dragons so that’s pretty funny.

Facts:

  • The UN states that 20 percent of the world eats insects. Perhaps those are the parts of the world where obesity isn’t’ a problem? A coincidence? I think not.
  • A number of insects have a higher protein amount (per 100g) than beef!
  • It’s good for the environment (fuck bugs, amirite?). They take less water to raise than normal sources of protein (beef) and contribute much less to greenhouse gases.

Articles promoting bug consumption:

edibleinsects.com

The Telegraph (coincidentally recently featuring my dad)

Time magazine

Will keep everyone posted.

UPDATE:

April fools. Got my mom too! 🙂 Hope nobody got too concerned. I am not eating insects, meat is still a-okay and will be for a very long time.

 

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58 Comments

  1. Yep, totally got me. Flicked past it in my gmail and thought ‘oh no, what the hell is she going to do, I have to help somehow’, then ruminated on it for a day before seeing the joke on your Dad’s Twitter. I really need to stop taking everything so seriously!

    Brilliant.

    B*st*rd.

  2. OMG, I am so glad I read the update this morning! I saw your post yesterday and was so bummed! Then I saw your Instagram stories about beef jerky and got really confused – is she or isn’t she intolerant?

    Until today I was so proud that I didn’t fall for any April Fools’ jokes yesterday…

  3. Had me going, girl! Though I admit, I did try barbecued beetles from Colombia about twenty years ago; and surprisingly, they crunched and tasted pretty mellow with the texture of pumpkin seeds. Very happy that you aren’t on the insect diet. Keep up the good work, here. People need your voice!

  4. You poor thing having all these food issues and now your eating bugs Oh Lord I wish you could eat all the food you could ever want!!! I did a 3 day water fast and 4 weeks later I am down 8 pounds doing intermittent fasting and watching how much sugars and wheat I eat. Have you looked into Chinese medicine? I was getting acupuncture treatments for dampness that’s a condition in Chinese medicine and there is a diet for that. I would be interested in knowing if you are damp as well and what a Chinese Acupuncturist would say about your health.

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